The Haunting of Netflix House 5: The Netflix Dimension

benito-cereno:

What’s up Octobocops, it’s Halloweason. Let’s get spooked. Here are some movies of the horror and horror-adjacent genres that you might watch by yourself or with a party of friends or with the spirit of a long-deceased duke who lives in inhabits your house. This is part five; you know the goddamn drill by now.

Previously, on The Haunting of Netflix House:

A couple of notes for those who are new to the list:

  • This is being posted on October 2, 2017. For humans of the future who find this, the links may not all be up to date. Some might even expire by November 2017. Click at your own risk.
  • I try to offer both breadth and depth of options on this list, but it is by no means exhaustive. I’m sorry if a favorite of yours got left off. There’s a chance I just haven’t seen it yet. Feel free to reblog and add some of your favorites, but please make sure a movie is actually currently available on Netflix before jumping my shit about some nonsense I “forgot,” please and thank you.
  • This list is based upon movies that are available on Netflix in the US. I have no idea what is streaming on Canadian Netflix or British Netflix or Slovenian Netflix. How would I know this. Why would I know this. Please do not expect me to know this. Feel free to be the Canadian/British/Slovenian Benito and make your own list applicable to your own countryhumans.
  • Horror movies, by their nature, have horrific things in them. Most of these movies are violent; lots of them deal with torture, abuse, and mental illness. If some element of this jumps out to me while I’m writing these up, I’ll mention them, but if you are sensitive to or have issues with certain types of content, you might look an individual movie up on Common Sense Media first to check for content warnings.
  • While there are always good horror movies to be found on Netflix, if you really like scary movies, you should just get a Shudder subscription (or even just the free trial!). It has an unbeatable, well-curated selection.

All right let’s get to the goddamn movies what say

Classics (this section seems to get smaller every year):

  • Jaws (this is about a shark)
  • The Fly (the Vincent Price version, not the Jeff Goldblum one)
  • Gremlins (technically a Christmas movie, obviously, but maybe you’re a rebel)
  • The Sixth Sense (is this a classic? I mean probably your mom has heard of it, so)

Horror Comedies:

Haunted House/Ghost shit:

Vampire shit:

Werewolf shit:

  • Late Phases (old blind guy vs werewolves; pretty good)
  • When Animals Dream (hit some similar thematic notes to Ginger Snaps, but completely different tonally; subtitled)

Zombie shit:

Witch/Demon/Pagan shit:

  • At the Devil’s Door (from the maker of The Pact; not as good, still interesting)
  • The Void (Lovecraftian cult shit; very cool visuals and practical effects)
  • Baskin (subtitled; super gory; also, the protags are asshole cops who tell transphobic stories and say homophobic slurs and talk about bestiality at the beginning, so heads up; worth a watch if that doesn’t bother you)
  • The Devil’s Candy
  • Hellions (this is not *great,* but it looks good and is heavily Halloweeny)
  • The Wailing (fucking amazing; subtitled)

Found footage shit:

  • V/H/S (lots of sex, violence, and sexualized violence
  • V/H/S/2 (same)
  • V/H/S Viral (same but in a different way)
  • The Den (ChatRoulette the horror movie; highly highly highly recommended)
  • Creep (recommended)
  • They’re Watching (not super amazing, but it’s wild af and I kind of love it; what if House Hunters International renovated a witch house?)
  • Man Vs (pretty okay)

Slasher shit (needless to say, these are gory):

  • Wes Craven’s New Nightmare
  • Curse of Chucky (way better than you think it is)
  • Clown (the haunted clown suit movie so good that Marvel said, “Yo, this guy should be in charge of Spider-Man”)
  • The Windmill (it’ll do fine if you’re just looking for a new slasher; tbf it is probably  the best windmill-themed slasher ever made though)

Other shit:

  • Monsters (really good; not “Halloween” monsters)
  • It Follows (hey, what’s up, it’s the best horror movie of the past decade; highest possible rec)
  • Sleepy Hollow (what section do Headless Horsemen go in? Dunno; the movie not the show)
  • The House at the End of Time (highly recommended; subtitled)
  • Honeymoon
  • Starry Eyes
  • White God (DOG REVENGE)
  • They Look Like People (this is a slow burn, but super highly recommended)
  • Extraordinary Tales (animated anthology of Edgar Allan Poe stories narrated by famous people; a mixed bag, but cool)
  • Darling (okay, so: this is a really beautiful and atmospheric film that I, generally speaking, recommend; however, it is kind of “artsy,” there is not a lot of dialogue, it is in black and white, there are some light strobing effects, rape does not occur on screen but is implied to have happened in a character’s past)
  • The Hallow (scary fairies)
  • Tales of Halloween (an anthology, so a mixed bag; okay overall, but it’s definitely Halloween-y)
  • The Invitation (highest possible recommendation)
  • Beyond the Gates (I actually did not like this very much, but some people might find it interesting, especially if you like–wait for it–Barbara Crampton)
  • Turbo Kid (this is not really horror, but if you like horror, especially splatter stuff, you will probably like it; it is good as shit)
  • Gerald’s Game (new shit from Mike Flanagan and it’s really great. Deals with lots of hard issues like abuse and such so maybe take a look at content issues if you are sensitive to that kind of stuff. Also definitely not for the squeamish, so head’s up. That said, it’s really really good)

80s/90s shit:

Non-Supernatural Thriller/Violence shit (these are violent):

Horror and Horror-Adjacent Documentaries (all the good horror docs got moved to Shudder):

  • The Nightmare (a doc on sleep paralysis and night terrors that is so-so as a documentary, but super effective as a horror film)
  • Witches: A Century of Murder (history of British witch trials, reenacted; two parts)

“But, Benito!” I hear you cry. “I don’t have Netflix for some reason! What about some other streaming services?” Yeah, all right. Here are some quick hits that are definitely not exhaustive. Just a couple of party jams you might enjoy if you’ve burned through the Netflix list.

What’s on Hulu though

  • 10 Cloverfield Lane
  • Monster Squad
  • Fright Night (the original; a must watch if you haven’t seen it)
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
  • From Dusk Til Dawn
  • An American Werewolf in London
  • Hatchet
  • Pumpkinhead (check this one out if you haven’t seen it)
  • The Blob
  • I Saw the Devil (amazing)
  • Invasion of the Body Snatchers (either version)
  • Shaun of the Dead
  • The Loved Ones
  • Wolfcop
  • The Thing
  • Rigor Mortis
  • Borgman
  • The Descent
  • Bloodsucking Bastards
  • Willow Creek
  • Berberian Sound Studio
  • Plus a bunch of shit that’s also on Netflix

What about Amazon Prime you idiot

  • The Girl with All the Gifts
  • Them (not Them!)
  • The Witch
  • Hell House LLC
  • Neon Demon
  • Texas Chainsaw Massacre
  • Nosferatu
  • Green Room
  • Little Shop of Horrors (the Corman one, not the musical)
  • The Blackcoat’s Daughter
  • The Bay
  • Society
  • The Last Man on Earth
  • The Last Exorcism
  • Amazon Prime is hard to navigate so that’s all

Tell me some good Shudder ones

  • The Innkeepers
  • A Tale of Two Sisters
  • The Gorgon
  • Lake Bodom
  • Prevenge
  • All the Phantasms (maybe not Ravager)
  • Shrew’s Nest
  • Noroi: The Curse
  • The House of the Devil
  • Black Sunday
  • Let the Right One In
  • Murder Party (highly recommended, esp for Halloween)
  • WNUF Halloween Special
  • Ghostwatch (play this at your party if you want to fucking win Halloween)
  • This list could be a million more entries long. Shudder rules.

What about Crackle/Vudu/YouTube/etc

  • Please shut up

As usual, please do me a solid and only circulate the current version of the list, so people aren’t clicking on dead links and thinking I’m an idiot. Again, this list is not and could not be completely exhaustive, and if I left off your favorite movie, I swear I was not targeting you personally. And, again, some of these movies are more interesting than they are good AND horror is a highly subjective experience, so your mileage may vary on some of these.

If you enjoyed this list, perhaps consider checking out some of my other Halloween-related posts:

Also maybe consider checking out my Letterboxd profile, where I rate and review movies of all types (but primarily horror) all year long and from all sorts of sources, in case you’re wondering what’s good on more than just Netflix. Also also, maybe take a look at some of my comics, several of which are appropriate for Halloween times.

Happy Halloween, nerds!